4.08.2007

Background Check...

Dear Julie Hibbard,

I was sitting here at home with a few confusing thoughts. See, when I was younger, my mom and dad taught me a few things about life, like: "Always look both ways before crossing the road", and "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all", and even "you shouldn't bite other people because there are enough dogs doing that". I would now like to focus on the last one; Biting. Now, I was just wondering if you happened to teach Allison that biting ISN'T okay...because it just doesn't seem like a nice thing to do. I will now just let the photos below speak for themselves and then maybe you should speak with your daughter.


Thank you.

Sincerely, Josh (Victim)



3 comments:

Allison said...

Dear Josh,
I feel as though this argument is a little one-sided. You neglected to disclose the story in its entirety. I believe this situation arose when you had chosen to sit on me whilest I was sitting on the couch. Since you are a large man, and I am not a large man, this was slightly painful for me, and was rapidly causing me to asphyxiate. What was I to do to protect myself? My strength is no match for yours. Ah, but I can use the strongest bones in my body!

When you look at it that way, it was self-defense. That will hold up in a court of law.

Sincerely,
Allison Hibbard

Brent said...

Ouch. Did you bite her back?

Julie Hibbard said...

Dear Josh Garrett,
I told her she could only bite large men and only if they sat on her causing her pain and asphyxiation.
Remember what Rick always says,
"Hurt people Hurt people"...oh yeah. It means physical pain too my friend!
:)